So welcome back.
And as for you I would like to have an open dialogue with you.
No you know what that dialogue is and is all the bones a standard that I integrate and that I've adopted
into my life.
There's service both myself and those people that I serve very very well.
This standard means that whilst people might not always or like me it may not always like the things
that I see how I respond to them the questions that I ask them.
They fundamentally respect me because they know where a stand because I demonstrate consistency decisiveness
and strength which is sometimes all that people really need.
They need an example to follow in relation to a way in which to live.
The Makes sense.
So I don't know if that does make any sense whatsoever.
If not please allow me to explain a hope of not lost yet.
The standard is all the boundaries that we build into our lives are right and this is our presupposition.
If you like that I am the expert on my life and I am solely responsible for my life and in the same
way.
You are the expert of your life and you are solely responsible for your life.
That therefore means that I could never be your guru.
I will never be better than you because I will never know what it is to be you in exactly the same way.
You will never be the guru of anyone else or better than anyone else even if they are on Jeremy Kyle
with that dodgy daytime TV show.
You see boundaries healthy boundaries civil rights are reflected when we know who we are.
We know what we want.
We know what we're willing to say yes to and we know what were but were not prepared to accept.
Therefore what we see know too and believe that not as a life coach people are going to bring you their
shit they are.
They're going to come to you they're going to try it on.
Some people are going to cry they're going to burst into tears and though some people will even try
to manipulate you they're going to try to become your friend so that you give them free coaching.
So I think right.
Trust me it will happen if one doesn't already done so.
So how do you get around desk is by adopting and applying the standard in your life and it takes shape
if you different forums no briefly touched in this raid back in the first section of the course.
When I was sharing and discussing how you're going to get most from this course if you're open to receiving
new information receptive enough to actually consider this new information try it on and actually practice.
And then if you're fundamentally appreciative.
No I'm not saying you have got to appreciate this course because you obviously paid for it.
But if you appreciate that whilst I am not perfect I am doing my very best.
I'm working with what I've got.
It might not be the most visually spectacular video production in the world but because it's not meant
to be it's meant to be an online education course as I'm sharing with you my highs my always my greatest
successes and even my greatest failure is to help you understand exactly what's required to become an
effective and successful life coach.
So when I am evaluating and assessing people in relation to you know taking them or his clients or not
those are the this is the standard that I'm looking for.
The minimum standard is a minimum qualification.
This or that abuse is going to have to possess in order to qualify for my time.
So remember Ray back at the start of the section I shared with you the six points the how to initiate
a life coaching relationship.
Well as I'm working through these six points or I am constantly evaluating is the standard in place.
Is this person open really open enough to embracing the life of questionnaire.
Were they receptive enough to actually work through it.
Are they taking what I'm seeing on board.
Are we applying what I'm talking about.
Are they taking action.
And fundamentally they come back each week with success stories saying Are there was a situation in
the week where I applied that thing that you talked about last week and it worked.
Then it got this phenomenal result it was phenomenal.
Well that demonstrates appreciation.
And the reason why this is important because you could operate Monday to Friday nine to five or six
or seven or eight clients back to back to back to back.
And if you get good at this stuff you could very easily find yourself in this place because the world
is running desperately short of people who have answers for anything in life.
There's not an abundance of wisdom go around these days.
You might you may put it sort of when people come to you.
We've got to be constantly evaluating in assessing them.
If they're not applying what is this you're sharing with them then sometimes you've got to apply the
standard and say listen for no I can see that you're not fully committed to the coaching relationship
for some reason which means that you know I do want to take any more money from you.
Of course unless you're fully committed to applying everything that we're talking about then you're
not going to get maximum benefit.
No.
On one level yes you're doing this in consideration of them.
But on another level you're doing this and concerns consideration of your own reputation because guess
what.
See if someone's expectation is to come to you for you to fix them and you haven't taken responsibility
for them you're not fixing their life.
Guess what they are going to go away and tell other people I will see this life coach.
And there were no good.
Stay away from them.
I went with this problem and they didn't have any answers for me.
Well what were established now is there were always life coaches and to provide people with answers
is to provide people with questions framework's choices options.
We cannot assume the role as the object of prospective and the standard isn't about making other people
adhere to our standard.
It's about us remaining true to the standard because if we are completely open and receptive and appreciative
of other people within us all live fair we expect exactly the same.
Another standard that we want to be building into our life.
If we haven't already done so is in a coach and relationship with God to be completely alert we've got
to be completely aware aware of ourselves.
Hence the reason of bill or the last four sections in the course right.
No.
So that you fundamentally understand yourself you understand potentially what part of your mind you
operate in.
It's up to you to bring about balance.
It's not this Course's fault if you don't apply the stuff in the same way.
It's not you fault if your future clients don't go on to apply what you share with them which might
be just be some of the stuff that I've shared with you through this course so far.
You can't take responsibility for anyone.
It's not your responsibility for other people to be aware to pay attention or a tentative is not your
responsibility.
And it's also not your responsibility for other people to be receptive or to apply for what it is that
you share with them.
Your responsibility is you.
How do you respond to them.
So long winded introduction but what's the standard that I how do I how do I live my life all my life
lives like this.
Case against the world and I don't mean this in an on relational way.
Please don't jump to false assumptions by what you think I mean here.
Hear me out.
What I mean by this is that I am responsible for me.
I know what I'm willing to accept and I know what I'm not willing to accept.
The types of people who I'm willing to work with are people who demonstrate maturity decisiveness consistency
and strength.
People who are going to step out in faith take risks pursue the goals they're going to be receptive
of.
What is this I share with them the guidance three or four sometimes the questions only answer if they
start crying or in a defensive or get all emotional just demonstrating immaturity.
And I'm not willing to work with that for what I am saying.
Whilst that may sound hard I'm not set myself up as a therapist or a counsellor.
I've set myself up as a life coach which means that my role is to help people who want to move forward
in life to move forward in life.
And guess what.
Quinn actually harpoons I feel for felt like there's a greater reward for me then however much it is
that I charge for an overlay or for a group called in session.
It was true for me as most likely also going to be true for you.
You see if those that you go to court are also moving forward and progressing in life and getting closer
towards their goals.
Then guess what.
You're not making an impact.
No sometimes this negative impact isn't going to be any reflection on you.
It's actually a reflection on them.
So playing a dog thing and integrating the standard into your life is on one level to protect them from
you but it's also to protect you from them and the correct assumptions and slanderous judgments that
they impose on you and present to other people.
So this is an abstract video.
I appreciate all that you ever need to focus on is home opener.
How receptive are you to learning to embrace new information.
Everything they have taught you through the court the course so far.
How appreciative are you off life aren't off other people and as you consider yourself in this way you're
going to be able to far more readily see other people in terms of how they apply this standard in the
context of their lives and towards you.
Are they available mentally available.
Are they actually in the room with you.
Are they paying attention to what you say.
All of the action in what you're seeing.
If not sometimes you got to let people go.
Sometimes you got to be cruel to be kind.
I'm guessing one governing factor is whether you apply the standard of whether this is going to be determined
by your reason for for being a life coach to begin with because one of if I was to be completely honest
with you back in the early days I didn't always apply the standard the standards were always so high.
Sometimes I'd be happy to work with middle age or aging men or women who would sit on the sofa and they'd
cry.
We can we close.
And I would ask them questions.
Did you apply what we talked about last week and they would say or Lord enough time or was too busy
I just didn't feel like it.
As soon as I got halmos own she was depressed.
I even had one point said to me you know after what you said to me last week you made me feel anxious.
Uh pardon.
I made you feel anxious.
Who's responsible for your feelings.
Me or are you so quickly got the perspective sort of back out again but upon seeing that I made a decision
that I wasn't willing to work with that person anymore.
Not willing to work with anyone who's not willing to take responsibility for themselves.
Because if the clients you work with are willing to take responsibility for themselves then they're
going to be coming with an expectation that you are going to take responsibility for them.
And that is an unrealistic and unfair expectation.
1.
You can never meet.
So if that's their expectation of you then guess who is going to be going away disappointed.
That's right.
Them and they will slander you.
If he's giving you money and expectation for you sorting their life so.
So this is just practical.
All right.
I'm sharing with you some complete honesty here.
This is not a framework it's not an exercise.
No homework questions you can answer here.
I'm just talking plain honestly about what you can expect from some people who are in it come your way.
When you continue to go down this road of this are towards becoming a life.
Could some of you found this interesting in some way you can relate on some level.
Well informed a senior again in the next minute.